Item #1 is a shirt, that I swear if it came in my size I would totally buy it!
Item #2, I'm just totally trying to figure out who in the hell would even think to write such a thing. I mean for real, why would you even think up this crap?
And so needless to say I still haven't found the right picture that I'm looking for. I was trying to avoid using a picture of myself but I'm afraid it's inevitable.